rain and gloom

Dark, rainy, windy, gloomy. Tingling sensation, cold but good. What more can I ask for?

{also at http://actoart.tumblr.com/}

Vision

It’s been months since I came here and I often wonder if I still have the flowy words in me that I could simply ramble on anything. Delighted to say that I’ve entered the gradschool I’d ever dreamt of, it’s too beautifully structured or in fact non-structured in a way it seems to be constantly dancing. Adore how the glass building celebrated my prescence when I took the first step upon the stairway, it was my reflection in there. Just me, the shimmery sunlight and all the beautiful things that could well be vivid when time comes. My vision would no longer be simply occurrence.

seek the unquestionable

Back here. Miss this space, love this space. Yesterday was horrid as usual, not one sunday’s been good in my memory so far. Perhaps I was the one who ruined things, my mood took over the good and I let it define the whole of me. Was I ever good before? I’ve no say and I doubt myself completely because my mind is whirling right now and then. If everything is unquestionable and precise I wouldn’t have to feel the slightest disconcertion in me, surrounding and following me. And all I ask for would no longer be for anyone to infuse energy in me, I know it wouldn’t do good anymore. Did it ever gave me help at all?

And may I sleep for a long time on a bed of fluff to revive my good o’ soul through the scent of delicate petals. I just might.

Personalizing thoughts in pictorials

Click here to fly yourself to my tumblr.

I’d mentioned about wanting to get myself a photoblog sometime ago, and my previous post here probably told you it’s tumblr. There’re pictures of me, my favourite things and people, rude thoughts or facts that I’ve probably never posted it here before. Nevertheless I’d still be popping in here because I’m loving my wordpress ever so.

to be conscious

Had sandwiches for lunch alone and they were surprisingly delicious, stayed alone in the chilly room with the warmest knits to keep my soul alive. I think I know the reason for people to read my posts with that much of faithfulness, it’s simply because I wrote them with feelings. Went back to the moments they were created, I felt affected and finally conscious. 

I guess it’s favorable to be a conscious being learning what that has to be accepted instead of hiding from the worst things. Going onto the next step would never be effortless and that comfortable a pace. Trying would be my limit.

gloom

The world is so dark today.

It seems that whenever I feel gloomy I’d come here, endowment is like my home of sadness, my bank of agony. I’m in a brightly lighted room but it’s so bright, too bright that I feel so lonely and all I can see is myself dimming away into nothingness. I’ve a tumblr that’s a happier and simpler version of endowment and I go to it everyday since a week ago. But today I just wanna come back here. Discovered something lovely yesterday, there are actually a bunch of you who subscribed to endowment. Thanks alot, although my gratitude came 5mths late.

I might really be out of guts to say it.

Everything is hard, but harder when it comes to dealing with feelings from within. It seems that there’s a veil surrounding me, preventing my brain to work better, my heart to feel better. I can’t be sure the feeling I’ve now gives me the right path that’s leading me somewhere, or actually nowhere. Perhaps after working your heart out, thinking so much of how you’re making it through, you would reach the moment when you realized you’ve never left the beginning. I’m so afraid. So very afraid of ruining everything. People say making mistakes isn’t that bad a thing, but I just don’t wanna make any more mistakes.

Have I been deluding myself all this while?